Wees watched High School Musical 3 today haha XD

It was on the average quite nice I give it 3.5 stars out of 5 stars XD

It was overall quite corny, but after the show I noticed it reflected part of my life. It seems from the show what Gabriella is trying to do to Troy is literally what I am trying to do to the Butas and that is to leave.

Throughout the show, I was only paying half attention to the show. My mind was actully partly reflecting on my actions lar.

Let's see, by the end, I devise 2 routes to take. One, is to stick with the Butas for as long as possible. Second, is to leave now and never turn back, which means totally cut out all conections with them.

I was also reflecting what led to all this nonsensical but somewhat seem neccesary actions I made. To many this actions of leaving is plain crap and redundant, but somewhat my heart make me feel they are quite neccesary.

I searched high and low, through memories and emotions of the past and finally found my answer. It is stupid but the answer is actually inferiority.

But this inferiority is only towards Quan. He is the one I feel most inferior to. Teck Chuan, I obviously feel inferior to him, but it was minimal because in a way, I guess I would say, he don't get affected much by me, so I won't be affected by my feeling of inferiority to him.

For Pearly, she is a girl, that is reason enough for not to be affected too much by my feeling of inferiority to her. I guess also was because maybe I in some ways are more capable than her, so it sort of balance out the inferior feelings.

For Wei Liang, his results are simply daunting, literal straight As, that is plain scary. But I guess, somehow my personality can click and synchronise properly with his, so I am not affected by this sense of inferiority.

But for Shao Quan, I am totally intimidated by him. Be it in the aesthetics or academics, he outshines me in all way. His results are all so wonderful. His sports ability is so good. Compared to him, I like air, barely anything. His attitude towards love is also awesome. He sticks to liking the same girl even though it has been made clear that she won't accept him. For this, he has pushed me down further, as I give up very easily and now though I like a girl, I have no courage to confess to her.

This sense of inferiority make me run away. As I simply have no courage to face them at all. I am weak I don't have a strong will and stuff lar.

Some what I guess I just ain't strong enough to face up this fear. Though I can talk all this problem to the Butas and no matter how useful their advice is, I somehow just can't muster the courage to fight the fear.

Is it the experience from going thorugh too many goodbyes telling me that it is pointless to continue unbalance paced friendship with them, or am I just plain a damn coward?

Ah I am just too confused right now, I simply don't know what to do. Should I stay or go? Naturally I know the Butas will all tell me to stay except for Wei Liang. He will tell me to choose the best route myself. Well I don't know how things will go about now.

Janei

Labels: decision