Haiz, today was a typical boring day.
It has been quite long since I have experienced this kind of day le.

Though I had smses to keep me company, it is as good as not having them cos there is little sms can help.

Soon enough this day will become part of my daily life le. I hate to admit it, but it seem that his year is ending, and if history is really keen on repeating itself, I will lose them for sure. I am not sure how it will go, but I have a feeling that it will be quite high percentage whereby history will repeat itself.

I guess it is time for them to not be so close anymore le bah. Actually seeing how they are now, they could well live without me, they seem happy even when I am not around, so I hope their lifes won't get too affected if I really leave.

Somehow I don't know why am I even writing this.

Is it the assurance they give me is not sufficient to convince me, or am I too stuck up with my past experience that made me unable to accept their assurance fully?

I don't know, I guess guilt is another factor. Since I have hurt so many people, I think I am undeserving of their friendship in this manner, with the fact that I have consistently hurt them both physically and mentally, I don't know why do they still treat me so nicely. It seem to only add to my guilt. Am I that influential? Am I of that much importance that no matter how much damage I do to them they won't mind?

I am seriously confused right now.....

Well current condition : Fever 38.7 degrees

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