Caution: Extreme confusion plus emoness, please don't read if you don't want to. Quan and Pearl, I strongly suggest you guys don't read this lest you two get too sad and stressed during your EOY week.







































For this past few months, what exactly have I been doing?

Wrecking myself?
Stressing myself with problems that weren't even mine to begin with?
Caring too much about friends?
Indulge in utter self pity?
Neglecting studies?

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!!!!! SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!

I am starting to lose my focus, should I just end everything right here and right now?

My life is in a mess, I have no idea why I have dropped to this state....

I never had such a problem for the past few years in secondary school life.

Why now? Why during my sec 4 year?

Maybe I should stop making friends?

Or should I just face up to the fact that I am not fit to gain friends, I am confused, very very confused, I want to breakdown but my heart tells me that they will worry and is holding my tears back very very tightly, I am on the verge of dying, is there anything I can do?

Someone show me the light, tell me what I am suppose to do.

With all this problems squashing me, I feel so ever breathless and it seems my time is shortening, I do not know how long more do I have before I wil take my own life.

My friends tell me to let them be, but can I really do it? I find I can't, probably I am weak and do not have he determination to do so, I am afterall just an ass who knows nothing about life. I claim I have seen much about life and is well versed in handling different situations, but is it really all true?

Maybe I am even more innocent and naive than anyone else. This stress is causing me so much pain...

Sometimes I am just a busybody bah, everyone's problem I also want to poke my nose into it, but it has become a habit and hard to change though not impossible.

I am so stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!!!!!! I can give so many advices to my friends, but when I am in their situation I was a total blank and blur, how can I even be fit to give those advices?

To the buta family,

I am not even sure if I should be called to as your oldest brother. Probably I should be the youngest, with my stupidity and naiveness, I have no confidence in protecting you guys at all, I will only fail even more than before.

As you guys can see, all I have been doing this past few months, is only bring you guys more and more pain, and yet I claim to say that I will protect you guys when the one hurting you guys most is me.

This is just it, I cannot take it no more, I am simply going crazy, I might as well just die right now................................



AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO LIKE THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: Ending?